Teaching good behaviour, caring behaviour and loving behaviour
through punishment is such a profound contradiction.
I look forward to the day that we all embrace
a collaborative, communicative and love based style of parenting.
Of course on the surface it seems like we’re teaching kids to do right
by making them afraid to do wrong,
but is that really the kind of adults we want to raise?
Adults who only do good on the surface so they can avoid punishment?
Do What Is Right For Its Own Sake
I prefer to create a world where people do what is good, right, just and loving
because they FEEL good, right, just and loving.
This cannot be taught with fear.
So many people advocate fear and pain as motivating principles
when dealing with children and this scares the crap out of me.
It is this kind of thinking that is causing the problems we see with kids.
It is not, as many people say, because we’re being too kind to them.
Respect Comes From Love
The appearance of respect born of fear is only skin deep.
When we think of creating a “well behaved child”
we totally miss the point of parenting.
Focusing on behaviour is superficial.
When you think of the qualities of really happy, fulfilled and successful adults
does “well behaved” come at the top of the list?
Hmmm… I think not.
I certainly hope not.
We Need To Create Powerful Inner Qualities
Let’s foster the qualities in children that we want them to have as adults.
Help them to be happy, healthy, self-loving,
self-confident, caring, creative
and powerful young people so that they will be
caring and powerful adults.
Clearly punishment is not an effective way to work with children
If our goal is to inspire these qualities.
Let’s use collaboration, communication and education.
Let’s lead by example and empower them to make their own decisions