One of the most common arguments we hear for spanking is
“I was spanked as a child and I turned out fine.”
We Cannot Make Mistakes
When we are spanked or even punished as a kid
(yes I’m anti-punishment too!)
for supposed wrong doings
it teaches us that it’s NOT OKAY to make mistakes.
It teaches us that we’re LESS WORTHY OF LOVE when we make mistakes.
And it teaches us that we will EXPERIENCE PAIN when we do make mistakes.
The result of this is that we are less free to make mistakes as we grow up. We cannot experiment with life, we cannot take the same kind of risks. Emotional risks, mental risks, self-image risks.
It Affects Our Relationships
It certainly impacts how we interact with others. We end up being less open to exposing our deeper selves with people for fear of scorn and rejection (boy do I relate to that one!).
We cannot lose ourselves in intimacy as freely for when we make ourselves vulnerable mistakes are a natural result.
We even are less able to have rational discussions when someone makes a point that threatens our way of looking at things!
The fear from childhood affects every part of our lives.
We defend ourselves, protect ourselves and close our hearts without even realizing we are doing so.
Imagine the Freedom
Imagine being totally free from these limitations!
Imagine if mistakes were something that made you excited!
Imagine if your tendency was to go in the direction of your mistakes rather than to avoid them!
When a child is nurtured and even CELEBRATED for making mistakes they can grow up unafraid of these things and maintain the ability to take risks and feel good about themselves when they fail.
Their sense of selves isn’t threatened for they have a foundation of love, not fear!!
Reclaim Your Love of Mistakes
Of course very few of us have been raised that way.
So now it is up to each of us to heal that inner wound and reclaim our love of mistakes.
It will take some time to convince ourselves
that we really love and celebrate who we are when we’re “wrong”,
when we make mistakes, when we look less than perfect!
As we deepen our self-love and self-acceptance
we can free parts of ourselves we didn’t even know were trapped.
And then hopefully we can avoid passing on this legacy of fear to the next generation!!