Forgiveness is essential for inner peace.
Holding onto the injuries of our past
keeps us from progressing.
There are 2 main types of forgiveness.
1) Relational Forgiveness which has to do with fixing relationships
2) Inner Forgiveness which has to do with self-healing
Relational Forgiveness
The first is about repairing relationships.
This type of forgiveness involves re-instating trust
when it has been broken or lost.
Requires Willingness
It requires both parties being willing to work
on repairing the damage done
and healing the inner wounds.
It also requires a willingness to recognize where we have erred,
for if we are unable to face our own mistakes we cannot
work towards repairing the injuries they have caused.
This can be challenging for we will bump up against
our own feelings of worth.
We will need to access deep levels of patience and humility.
Some Relationships Can’t Be Fixed
Some Shouldn’t Be
This type of forgiveness isn’t always possible
nor is it always desirable.
Some people are just better left behind in life’s journey.
There can come a time when it’s not worth
the effort to repair a relationship.
Some people are simply always going to be
toxic elements in our lives and it’s best to
let them go.
Freeing Ourselves From Their Inner Influence
At the same time it’s important for us to deal with
the inner effects of our experiences
so they do not continue to hurt us
even once they’ve gone.
This is where the next type of forgiveness comes in.
The second type – Inner Forgiveness
The inner forgiveness is about your own state of mind.
It is essential to inner peace and happiness.
It is about the transformation
of hurt to understanding
of grudge to love
anger to compassion
tension to peace
victimhood to detachment.
This transformation is absolutely necessary
and it’s a big job.
Personal Healing Work
It is something that we can achieve
even if the other person is out of the picture.
It is our own healing work.
The emotional residue of past transgressions
sits in our consciousness and it affects us all over the place.
Seeking Freedom
This is why forgiveness is so important.
It’s not about letting the other person off the hook.
In fact it’s necessary to hold people accountable
for their choices and actions.
It is in forgiving AND holding accountable,
not in making excuses for others,
that deep healing occurs.
Acceptance Is One of The Stages of Forgiveness
Acceptance is a funny word because
it has more than one meaning.
In terms of forgiveness acceptance does not have to mean
accepting that something is OKAY.
I don’t think it is OKAY to hurt, betray and abuse.
These are the types of things
we need to forgive others for.
Accepting them doesn’t mean
condoning them.
We Are Going To Experience Pain From Others
It is useful to recognize that these things do happen.
We live in a dualistic universe with good and evil.
Denying their existence does not make them go away.
Both are present everywhere and
it’s highly improbable that one can
live their lives without experiencing both.
Make Peace With The Dark Side
I think that acceptance is making peace with this fact.
I think acceptance is knowing that we cannot change the past.
We can only work on how the past will affect us
and work on creating our future.
Acceptance allows us to relax and breathe,
to think and feel,
and figure out what we’re going to do
about all this stuff we’ve gone through.
Something like that.
I Am A Work In Progress
I know I’m still working on
acceptance and forgiveness myself.
I will probably be working on it
for years to come.
I have no shortage of pain,
betrayal and abuse in my past.
I know that I have deep residue within my heart.
I desire to forgive, to clear it all out
so I can be light and free.
