Raising Kids Is Like Growing Watermelons
Have you ever seen one of those cubed shaped watermelons?
The way they make them is to
grow the fruit in a cube shaped container.
As it grows it is confined to the
limitations of its surroundings.
After the fruit has grown to fill the container
they open it and the fruit maintains that shape.
Raising Kids Is Like Growing Watermelons
When I first learned about this it struck me
how similar this process is to parenting.
Regardless of our best intentions
we shape our kids according to our personality.
Both our joys and our pains get passed along to them.
These are the walls of the container that we
surround them with as they are in their formative years.
Every word we say, every time we interact with them
and even every thought we think
has an effect upon who they turn out to be.
We are the Primary Source of Their Self-Image
It is not the only influence, because as we know
our kids are exposed to many environmental factors
throughout their lives.
We are however their first and primary container
and they quickly learn to take that shape.
This is why it is so important for us
to become more and more self-aware
if we want to consciously choose
the kind of shape that we surround
our kids with as they grow.
I hope I’m not beating this analogy to death!
But you get the idea.
Reclaiming our Original Shape
I have also heard that if the cube shaped watermelon
is freed from the container while still attached to the vine
it will eventually reclaim its original shape.
This is important to know because
we ourselves continue to carry
the shape of our own past.
This is very much how the generational cycles continue.
I grew up with a particular environment
and that environment shaped who I am.
Then I pass that shape along to my kids
because that’s all I know.
We Carry The Shape Of Our Childhood For Many Years
In many ways we live our whole lives
with that container surrounding us
and never break free to reclaim our original shape.
If we become self-aware we can choose to do the work
of letting go of our limiting mental, emotional
and spiritual constraints.
Inside each of us is core of perfect love,
compassion, empathy and understanding
As we do this we can reclaim more and more
of our own original shape.
The freedom and love that we had as newborn babies.
The more we reclaim our inner beauty
the more we are able to pass that along to our kids.
Be Conscious About The Shape You Hold For Your Kids
It is not possible for us to avoid
influencing and shaping our children
with our personalities.
In fact it is part of our role as parents to do so.
Therefore it is beneficial for us to
be as conscious as we can about
the kind of shape that we offer them.
Conscious Shaping Is A Two-Fold Process
The first being the self-development work that we do.
To clean out the wounds of our past
and choose the kind of person we want to be,
choose the thoughts and feelings we want to have.
The second is paying deep attention to how
we interact with our children.
Early Regrets or “The Watermelon Within”
When I think back to the early years of
my daughter’s life I feel many regrets about
things I did, choices I made and
glaring omissions in my understanding.
For all of my good intentions
I know I caused her a lot of damage.
At the same time I can recognize that
I did this because of my own
cube shaped watermelon within.
Breaking The Mould
Over the years I have worked very hard at
breaking the mould and allowing more of
my original shape to emerge.
It is something that I continue to work at daily.
This work definitely benefits my daughter,
it benefits me in the day to day quality of my life
and of course it is also of great benefit
to all with whom I interact.
