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The Power of Decision Making


Vivek the martial arts action star!

A little while back I acted in and co-choreographed
a martial arts action film called 11 blocks.

It is pretty gruesome and violent
just how I like it!

You can find it on Netflix.
Check it out and give me a good rating please.

This is not the Vivek we know and love

I was with some friends at a youth empowerment conference this weekend
and we watched it together.
They were quite taken aback by
the different personality I projected in this film.

In general I am a pretty calm, happy and peaceful fella.
In this movie though I am violent, drunk,
swearing and cussing all the time.

There is no LET in our relationship

My daughter was in the car with us on the way back home
and one of the others asked her if she had seen the movie.

She said yes only a few clips here and there.

The person who asked the question asked
only the parts that your dad let you watch?

I immediately replied
There is no “LET” in our relationship.
She is an independent being with her own thoughts and feelings.
She makes her own choices and decisions
and I support her in them regardless of what they are.

The power of decision making

This has been the core of my parenting philosophy
from the beginning.

My goal has been to participate in raising an independent thinker.
Someone who could make intelligent and deep choices.
Someone who knew themselves,
liked themselves
and trusted themselves.

She makes her own decisions

In order to do this I have had to pay special attention to
not make decisions for my daughter.
It is very tempting to want to do so,
especially when we feel our decision will be
better for them than their own.

The long-term skill is more important

The thing is the actual skill of making decisions is more important
than the individual decisions themselves
most of the time.

Only by making decisions, seeing the results
and learning from them does one improve in
the skill of decision making.

Therefore my role was always to
help her in evaluating her decisions
and learning how to improve that very skill.

Release Control

This is very difficult as I have mentioned before
because it requires letting go of a certain kind of control
that traditional parenting wants us to have.

Give Them Ownership

When we give our children responsibility for their own decisions
then we give them a sense of ownership over their lives.

We allow them to feel that they are
their own best guide.
We empower them to know themselves,
like themselves
and trust themselves.

Creating the foundation for life

This is an excellent foundation that we help them build.
Something powerful that we give them
so when they are ready to enter the world
and live their own lives
they are well prepared.

What better gift could we give our kids than this?

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