Some Vivek Style Relationship Advice for the New Wife and Husband

My Neice is getting married tomorrow.
Here is the letter I sent her and her new husband.
Sharing some of my ideas for an enduring relationship.

Be A Mirror

Reflect the good qualities of your partner to them at least once a day.
Reflect to them also what they need to improve upon when necessary.

Being an effective mirror is a great gift to each other.
In an intimate relationship we can often see each other more clearly than we see ourselves.
If we trust our partners we will receive their reflections with humility and grace.

In both the giving and receiving of these reflections
we lift ourselves and each other up on a daily basis.

Be The Moon

Just as the moon reflects the Sun and lights up the world at night
so can you reflect the light of the Divine in your partner’s life.
You can shine a light for them in their dark times.

This of course requires that you develop the connection to the Divine light within you.
For you can only shine the Light to the degree that you are able to access it yourself.

This leads perfectly into the next point

Devote Yourself To A Life Of Continuous Self-Improvement

If you can find something in yourself to celebrate every day
and if you can find something in yourself to change every day
then you are truly on the path of self-development.

By doing this you develop your inner world so that
what you are expressing and sharing with your partner
is constantly being elevated.

Imagine the wonder and joy if both of you are doing this on a daily basis.
There is no limit to how far you can lift yourself and help to lift the other.

Consciously embarking on the adventure of mutual growth
is one of the greatest opportunities in your lives.

Communicate

Effective communication is the cornerstone of harmonious interaction.
It is not always an easy task especially when emotions are involved,
but that is precisely when it becomes most necessary.

Learning to communicate well requires both the acquiring of specific skills
and developing a deep willingness.

Learning to listen deeply, express yourself honestly
and include compassion in the mix is a good start.

Like any skill it requires continuous practice to become proficient.
So make sure you take the opportunity to communicate deeply with each other as often as possible.

Don’t let things fester in your subconscious.
The residue it leaves in your heart is difficult to remove years down the road.
It is better to open yourself to your partner and share what is on your mind in the moment.

Sometimes the moment is too charged with emotion
so it might make sense to wait a bit until everyone is calm
before trying to have an intelligent conversation about a situation.

But really, waiting a few years just doesn’t work out well for anyone.

Take Responsibility

In every situation between two people
both play a part in what’s happening.
It makes sense to evaluate your part as honestly and objectively as possible.
If you are able to do this then you will greatly reduce blame in your relationship.

Blame is a toxic poison that will eat away at the intimacy between you.

Be quick to apologize when you are able to identify something
you have done that was less than optimal.

In other words; when you screw up say sorry.

The acknowledgment of your responsibility
can make a huge difference in how you are received
as you work to resolve any situation.

Romance Comes From Connection:
Spiritual, Emotional, Mental And Physical
(In That Order)

Try and always remember that it is the spiritual connection between you that will allow your relationship to endure.

Seek to deepen it every chance you get.
All the other levels of connection flow from this foundation.
If it is ignored you will soon feel its effects.

From the spiritual will flow the emotional, mental and physical connection between you.
Each of these of course needs maintenance in their own way.

Take time to nurture your emotional connection,
put effort into your mental, intellectual connection.
And of course celebrate the joy of your physical connection.
It is a wonderful reflection of your spiritual bond.

Never be too busy to look into each other’s eyes
and remember why you’re together.
And if you ever forget,
take the time to remind each other,
through your words, actions and your hearts.

Be your best and bring your best

All of this can be summed up in this simple saying.

Be your best and bring your best

In every relationship in your life,
this philosophy can be the guiding principle.

It works with friendship and family.
It is the most important thing to keep in mind as a parent.
It is also pivotal in a marriage.

Continuous effort and attention on yourself and your relationship
will create the most beautiful fragrance
in the ever blossoming flower of your romance.

I hope these words can be of some assistance to you
as you begin this new phase in your life,
this grand journey together.

Blessings to you,
Love,
Vivek