To be helpful to people we must be able to reach them where they are.
Talking down to someone never lifts them up.
If someone says they’re hurting and I tell them to:
–“Just be detached”
–“Let it go”
–“Don’t believe in the illusion”
they can’t really hear it.
Oh and the worst is:
–“You can choose happiness in this moment.”
There may be truth to these ideas
But getting there is a process.
I See You, I Hear You
When we’re in pain we need to know we’ve been heard.
We need to know that the person who is trying to help us
actually sees us and understands our predicament.
I know the difference very well because I used to be one of those people
Who immediately try and fix people’s problems.
Just listen to me
I have the answer
It’s so easy, just do what I say and you’ll be happy
Haha! At least I can laugh at myself.
I was so arrogant.
Hopefully I’m a little less so now.
A Loving Heart And An Attentive Ear
I have learned that I don’t, in fact have all the answers.
I have learned that more often than not people just need
a loving heart and an attentive ear
and do not necessarily need advice.
When I was younger I used to put myself above other people.
I would preach AT them rather than communicate WITH them.
I believe I was doing this to mask my own pain.
My Mother Does Volunteer Work In Prisons
She teaches self-empowerment workshops to the inmates.
Every guy she has in her class absolutely loves her.
They all say her program is the best they’ve ever taken
And that she’s the best teacher they’ve ever encountered.
One of the primary reasons for this is that she does not place herself above them.
She tells them that they are beautiful, loving and deeply spiritual inside.
They have forgotten that beauty and that love
and her course is about reminding them who they really are
They have made mistakes, but those mistakes don’t have to define them.
They have the option to define themselves if they want to.
She tells them that the reason she knows this is because she’s made so many mistakes herself
That she would really hate herself if she didn’t do this same work she’s encouraging them to do.
She is not above them and teaching them
She is learning with them and sharing her process with them.
This is rare and deeply inspirational to these men.
Learning To Accept Myself Helped Me To Accept Others
I take my mother as an example.
I am learning to love myself and define myself.
As I have become more accepting of my pain, my wounds and my process
I am not longer imagining myself above the world
But am walking along side my brothers and sisters on the path.
This has certainly affected my parenting style as well.
I do not put myself above my daughter in any way.
I do not hold authority over her.
We are equals
Walking the path together.