When it appears that a kid is playing games to manipulate their parents
There is always something deeper going on beneath the surface.
As long as we deal with the behaviour they will never stop playing these games
For something within has created the need to manipulate.
They aren’t doing it to “get their way” or to “control their parents”
They are doing it in an attempt to get love, energy,
attention and acceptance that they are missing.
That they are longing for.
Beating them at the game will not stop it.
It may stop that particular game…
and we may feel powerful and in control for having done so,
but the tendency to play the game, to manipulate, will remain.
It’s the inner tendency that we have to change.
It is the wound that we have to heal.
It is the lack and longing we have to fulfill.
Redefine our Parenting Priorities
In order to do this we have to understand
why the manipulation occurs in the first place and address that.
Address the cause, not the effect.
Work with them from the Inside Out
Change our focus and priorities from modifying behaviour
To dealing with their inner world.
This is always harder to do, but always more effective.
And more satisfying for everyone.