I am trying to take responsibility for my life.
It is not easy.
I want to take responsibility because
when I place the responsibility for my circumstances outside myself
I also place the power to change my circumstances outside myself.
I do not wish to give away my power
therefore I also do not wish to abandon my responsibility.
Having Freedom Of Choice Means We Have Responsibility
I recognize that I always have choice.
Choice in what I think, what I say and how I act.
Choice is always there though it may be very difficult at times,
and therefore it always carries the responsibility.
We may be able to pretend that we don’t have responsibility.
It can certainly feel good to give ourselves a break,
but eventually that will catch up with us.
Even if it ends up being in a few lifetimes.
Avoiding Responsibility Brings Pain
This has happened to me a number of times.
I’ve been hit over the head with my own avoidance enough
That now I’m very happy to be continuously working on
taking more and more responsibility for my life and choices.
The problem with that is, if I take responsibility
I have to give up something very precious to me:
Giving Up Blame
Oh how I love to blame.
I really am addicted to it.
It is so lovely.
It has seen me through some tough times.
But I know the time has come to give it up.
Break the addiction.
(with great effort)
say goodbye to an old friend.
(I mourn the loss)
A Long Held Habit Is Like A Lover
Letting go of an old habit like this
Is sort of like letting go of a relationship.
We will probably be on again/off again for a while.
I’ll likely feel remorse when we get back together
And an emptiness when we part once again.
The cycle will continue until I’m finally ready
To truly say goodbye.
This is a difficult process
And a necessary one.
I must have the patience and perseverance to continue along the path.
For ultimately I want to stop blaming
And I want to take responsibility.
I Take On The Responsibility To Take Responsibility
If I choose to take responsibility for my choices
I have to stop blaming.
I cannot blame anyone for anything.
I’m working on it
a little more each day.
Keep going Vivek, You can do it!