Blame Robs Us of Our Power
Blaming is so terribly destructive and disempowering.
Every time I would blame someone else I actually diminished my own power.
For if someone else is at fault then there is nothing I can do to change my situation.
At some point I got tired of handing my power over to others. I got tired of repeating the same cycles of suffering. I knew I had to start seeing my life from the perspective of an internal cause and effect rather than an external one. This is another way of saying that I began to take responsibility for my life.
Taking Responsibility Takes Time
It is a process though. Just because I chose to take responsibility doesn’t mean I was perfect at it immediately. The habits of blaming were strong. They had a lifetime to develop!
Over the years I have slowly gotten better at the art of taking responsibility. It hurt at first because I had to start looking within when I was so used to looking without.
The great thing about taking responsibility for your life is it gives you more power.
When you realize that you are the only one who can change your life it starts to look better – Because you realize that it IS possible to change your life!
Take responsibility and Take Your Power
To take responsibility – for everything, now that’s a tall order.
It is challenging to take that idea to the extreme.
In fact, the extreme often seems absurd, taking responsibility for absolutely everything in your life!
Of course there are external causes for things.
This is true, and yet we have the choice on where we focus.
When we focus on the external we end up blaming and we are at the mercy of those external causes.
It IS possible to believe that we have the power to affect every part of our lives.
At first when I was learning this I believed it just a little, where it was convenient for me, or at least not terribly inconvenient. It can be intense to see all the circumstances of our lives as being created from the inside out. Sometimes I needed a break from this. But slowly over the years I’ve grown to accept it more and more.
Not Blaming Includes Yourself
One of the traps that is easy to fall into as we begin to take more responsibility is to blame ourselves. I certainly do this. I was so used to blaming others that when I turned the attention on myself blame was the natural result.
The difference between blame and responsibility is the emotional content behind it. Responsibility does not have the negative and condemning emotion that blame has.
Blame is complaining about the past
while responsibility is looking towards a brighter future!
Blame has separation and pain at its core
while responsibility has a foundation of love!
So to take responsibility for your life is to truly love yourself. This is important to remember so that we do not simply transfer the blame for others to ourselves, which would only cause us more harm.
Responsibility Requires Honesty
The process of changing my focus from external to internal meant I had to face myself very honestly. I had to ask myself;
Do you blame?
If I say
“Why do people always treat me that way?” –
this is blame.
If I say
“You did this to me and that’s why I feel this way” –
this is blame.
If I place the cause of ANYTHING in my life outside myself then I am blaming.
Is it the government?
The girl/boy friend?
How about the weather?
Perhaps your genes?
Your chemical imbalance?
What would it mean to stop the blame?
Would you have any reason…
Not to love?
Not to be happy?
Not to be fulfilled?
Not to be, do and have all that you want?
The great thing about taking responsibility
is that the power comes into your life
to change your life!!
You could say:
“With great responsibility comes great power!”
(adapted from Uncle Ben’s famous saying!)